What is a Democracy Sausage?

Only the best thing that happens on election day.

In Australia, voting for our government is mandatory, which means loooong lines of people with various levels of interest turn up — at worst, to avoid a fine, and at best, to determine which older gentleman in a blue suit gets to be the country’s boy boss for the next three years.

You see, we Aussies take voting very seriously, so much so that the Australian Electoral Commission had to kindly ask our fair people not to draw d*cks on their ballot papers. While it doesn’t make the vote invalid, nor is this kind of indecent exposure illegal, it may shock the Nannas counting the votes. We have to remember, these Nannas grew up in a time when unsolicited member photos took a lot more effort—thankfully, they missed the internet’s “golden age” of human interaction. Think of the poor Nannas.

Just in case you were wondering: no, a d*ck drawn on the ballot paper isn’t a democracy sausage — but it’s an easy leap to make. It’s just democracy, with a side of artistic expression.

A democracy sausage is a humble snag on bread, barbequed outside a polling station and eaten before or after casting your vote — the official taste of election day and a reward (you have to pay for) for turning up to do your civic duty.

I hate standing in lines, so I’ll often vote early and then cruise the polling booths for a sausage degustation on election day. It’s such an integral part of our cultural experience that some organised soul made a website called democracysausage.org where you can find polling booths that have the best sizzle.

A word of warning, especially in the rural areas: take cash and go early to avoid disappointment.

Given the current gender gap in politics, especially in the Liberal Party, we should draw some vaginas just to even it out. Think of the Pops.

Vote early, snag often, and for the love of Nanna — leave the doodles at home.